In the pursuit of performance success on the golf course, I am frequently asked by my golf performance clients, "What's more important? My ability as a golfer ... Or, is it my attitude?"

Well, the answer to this question is very simple and can be confirmed over and over from many examples in the annals of golf history, as well as, in every other sport.  I will answer the question in this simple and direct way, "Attitude is Everything!" When it's all said and done, the golfer with the better attitude will always out-perform the golfer with a poor attitude - even if the poor attitude golfer has a relatively better natural ability to play the game.

Why is this true? 

Psychologists tell us that a major source of stress in our life is the "fear of rejection" or "fear of criticism". This fear of rejection manifests itself in an over-concern for the approval or disapproval from our parents, from our golf coach, from our teammates and/or peers. The fear of rejection is often learned in early childhood as the result of our parents, teachers or other authority figures in our lives giving us "conditional love." 

Rise Above the Need For Approval
Many parents make the mistake of giving love and approval to their child only when the child does something that they want them to do. Children who grow up with this kind of 'conditional' love, in turn, tend to seek unconditional approval from others all of their lives, and in everything that they do. When children with this 'learned' experience from their environment become adults, this need for approval from their parent is transferred to every other relationship and experience they have - including their interactions with their golf coaches and the mentors that make up their total golf performance team; golf-specific mental coach and fitness training specialist. The adult golfer can then become preoccupied with the opinion of their coaches. This preoccupation can lead to an obsession to perform to some undetermined high standard.

Avoid Type A Behavior
Doctors Rosenman and Friedman, two San Francisco heart specialists, have defined this obsession for performance as "Type A behavior." Experts have concluded that approximately 60% of men and as many as 30% of women are people with Type A behavior.

Don't Burn Yourself Out
This Type A behavior can vary from mild forms to extreme cases. Golfers who are what they call "true Type A's" usually put so much pressure on themselves to perform in order to please their parents, spouses, coaches, and teammates, for example, that they burn themselves out. Not only do they perform way below their true potential as golfers - regardless of their true talent level as golfers - but many end up 'hating' to play golf altogether and quit the game out of total frustration. Worse yet, some golfers, with extreme issues in this area, actually die of heart attacks before the age of 55! This Type A behavior, triggered by conditional love in childhood, is a very serious stress-related phenomenon in the American workplace, and in the world of high-level sports - including golf.

Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do, as a golfer, and in life, to immediately deal with the fear of rejection, criticism and disapproval ... and to improve your attitude for optimal performance both 'on' and 'off' the golf course.

1) Realize and accept that the opinions of others are not important enough for you to feel stressed, unhappy or over concerned about them. Even if they dislike you entirely, it has nothing to do with your own personal worth and value as a person. In other words, the reality is, your golf scores do not define who you really are and what your true value is as a person! Your true 'worth' and value comes from your chosen creator, and can never be determined by any human being - even your parents! 

2) Refuse to be over concerned about what you think people are thinking about you. The fact is that most people are not thinking about you at all. They are thinking about about themselves! Relax and get on with your life.

If you'd like to talk about any challenges, frustrations or stresses you are having with your golf game and would like a better attitude both on and off the golf course, please contact me for a FREE consultation by calling: 630-567-7572 or by email at: Paul@CallawayGolfFitness.com